JMN, Jammsbro's Movie News. We opened on a sunday night in 2007 after watching 30 Days of Night and realising that there was nowhere honest left in the film news world. All the sites were either too big and too formal or too elitist and snooty. The other sites are good, yes, but we say what we think, review and discuss the movies we like and leave the rest in the dirt. Follow us for a while and you'll know what we do and you can either like us or leave us.
We're about films, awesome films.
Transformers: Age of Extinction is sitting at $592 million after two weekends. What the hell is up with that? Seriously people, we need to stop funding these epic, shit-fests. This is the fourth Transformers film and it looks like this one is going to break a billion as well. I know this is the age of the mega blockbuster but why these celluloid messes keep raking in viewers is beyond me, these films are crap, utter, utter garbage. I can only imagine that it's kids being taken by their parents and teenage boys in for repeat viewings. Franchises always bring in big money, the familiarity and repetition generates cash for practically no expenditure, but Transformers is even more mystifying than the Resident Evil films. They are shit but at least they don't make much money. The Transformers have made over $3 Billion and are on their way to $4 Billion by the looks of it. That's a ton of cash for some really poor movies. I say poor movies because they are, they are shit, highly polished shit, but shit nonetheless.
LOOK CGI KIDS! Seriously, how do these things not get jammed on each other? You every leave headphone cables in your bag? Fucking NIGHTMARE to untangle. Two highly complex and fast moving machines in close proximity? Gonna need a spanner and some WD 40.
Take a look at the trailer for the last film, I couldn't tell the difference between it and the third one. The only real difference was the lack of Shia Leboof. Honestly, if it wasn't for Optimus Prime and Bumblebee then I wouldn't have a clue who any of the other robots were or what side they were on. I've seen the first three and the other characters are do poorly introduced and so completely non-developed that I had no idea who any of them were unless they were standing totally still and I had seen them before. During the battle scenes I had no idea who was who and what side any of them were on. All I saw was a mash-up of disposable, unfamiliar machines that were onscreen for a bit and were now scrap metal. The Simpsons creators got it right when they said that you should be able to recognize a character by silhouette. You can't do that for any of the Transformers. And why are they so over engineered? You'd think that millions of years of technology would allow them to be better than something we would make. Yet in every film they transform and tens of thousands of moving parts go into motion. Then ten minutes later they get hundred of parts smashed, ripped off or rendered useless, yet the machines keep working as normal. The characters are stupid, the Transformers are idiots (Autobots want to protect the humans yet keep driving into hugely populated areas in order to have fights), the set pieces are predictable and have no excitement or tension, the jokes are for four year old's and the rest of the films is usually pointless or ridiculous filler. The scripts are awful, and I mean fucking awful. Michael bay can't direct an action film. Seriously, he can't go back and watch what he does. It's the same crappy techniques in every film and every sequence. He is uninventive and boring to watch. He hides things he should show you and spends ages showing you slow motion shots of things that should be running at full speed. He over saturates the colour to the point where everything is a sickly palette of noise that hurts the eyes. The only actual good thing in these films is the genius turn by John Turturro.
Why are people still going to see these regurgitation's of the same old crap? They only reason these are made is to make cash money, there is no artistic merit behind them at all. They are not good films and have done nothing but slightly different versions of the same events for four films now. Stop going to see them, stop going to see Resident Evil, Stop, just stop.
Stallone has pushed a fifth Rambo film back and forth in the couple of years after the last film and its epic bloodbath finale made so much effort to show us just how horrific all out war kinda looks. But the big man himself decided that the last film came to a natural and fitting conclusion when we saw Rambo return home after decades of fighting and inner torment...
Anyone who has been playing video games for the last ten or so years will have seen a non-too-subtle shift in how game buyers are being offered/forced to consume games. Most of you will remember the days when all of this content wasn't a downloadable feature, only accessible by further purchase, but was already included in the game and was present on the disc as it left the factory...
Frailty is one of those films that no-one has seen. It was the kind of film that only the people who went to their local video store and watched everything eventually saw. I like Bill Paxton, I think the guy is underrated and grabbed this straight away when I found out that this was his directorial debut. Frailty is also one of those films that no matter how well you pitch it to people, they just won't watch it...which is annoying as hell.
Have you seen this? Talk about ripping off an image and a marketing campaign. These are the first two images from the new Dracula franchise/reboot. Look familiar? That's because they are a completely rip-off of Batman Begins, aesthetically, thematically and structurally.
Youtube was a great concept. People made original content and uploaded
it their very own television channel. You decided the content you wanted
to make and share and you had control over what that was, how often it
was made and whether or not it stayed up...